a true test

I work in DC.  I know there are a lot of parts that are ghetto.  But at some point, we all become comfortable in our routine, comfortable with our surroundings (even the random non-working guys you pass everyday on the sidewalk walking to work).  I know the neighborhood I walk through isnt the safest, but I see mostly the same people walking each day.  I work with 3-5 year olds when Im at school.  They dont quite understand money, credit cards, or valuables yet.  Sure, sometimes things have gone missing (ie: bouncy balls, puzzle pieces, and beads) but are always found under a table or in a pocket.  Ive become comfortable in my school community.  

Friday I experienced a day like no other.  A day that tested me personally, professionally, spiritually, and to the core of my values.  One I hope no one else ever does, although I know they will.  For the truth is we live in a fallen world; a world full of people who do bad things; a world full of sin.

I did a speech and language evaluation on a child (4 years old) who had both of his parents present during the eval due to his poor attention and behavior, and their desire to help him/ see that he did his best.  We took many breaks throughout the hour and a half we spent testing (getting your body moving does wonders for getting your brain moving!).  At one point, I walked out of my office with the kid in toe to get a puzzle, yep a puzzle and a scooter.  That's when things got really sketchy.  When we came back the parents were in a huge rush to finish and get out.  I pushed the kid through the rest of the test (against my better judgement) and they claimed they "were taking him home because he did so well on the test."  Off they went.  Time stamp 11:25am.  Around 12:30pm my phone began ringing.  Random 1800 number, so I ignored it and kept working.  I skipped my lunch to work with another kid.  Time stamp 1:30pm, I listened as the message said "please call us immediately, this is your bank __."

Insert panic. I log on to my online banking and am horrified to find purchases I did not make on my card.  Time stamp for first purchase 11:40am, just 9 miles from school.  I ran to my bag, opened my wallet and my debit card was gone.

Fifteen minutes after they took their child out of school, they began making purchases on his therapist's credit card.  My credit card.  I understand poverty.  I understand desperation.  I even understand ignorance.  But manipulation, robbery, cheating, and all in front of your four year old? What kind of parent are you?

My afternoon wrapped up with a freeze on my account, a cancelled card, filing a police report and trying to rationalize what had happened.  For all the bad publicity the DC police get, I have to say they took this incident seriously and were very helpful- answering all my questions, assuring me they would to whatever they can to help, and even taking me through what happens next.

So what happens next? Well unfortunately this family will have their kids taken away if we're lucky (as CPS has been involved for a while) and papa (who recently got out of prison will probably go back).  Did I mention that I will get to ID them in a line up if video surveillance captures them in the stores?  That would be a first for me.  My heart is broken for so many reasons.  Sure this was inconvenient and scary.  I truly am terrified that I will have to face these people before there is resolution.  But what keeps me thinking about it is my four year old little friend and his 2 siblings.  How can we expect these kids or kids like them to grow up to be any different from their parents if this is the example they see every hour of the day? How can we be surprised that poverty still exists, crime still is rampant, and thieves prosper? Dont even get me started on government assistance...

I know children are our future (thanks Whitney), but what kind of future will our country have if people like this are raising children? Raising them to be just like their parents.  Raising them to help themselves by hurting others.  The only way the cycle of crime and poverty will end is if we help our children, help them out of abusive, dangerous, and manipulative homes.  And in some small way, I think working with this school is helping kids like this.  Encouraging them, educating them, and being a light for them.  Giving them a break (even if just for a few hours) from what they see/ hear/ experience at home for the other 19 hours a day.  It's frustrating because here I was, helping their child.  Helping their child! And what did they do? They took what didnt belong to them to buy what they didnt need- cigarettes and alcohol.

Im still trying to justify what happened.  To understand.  What makes a person go in someone else's bag, open their wallet and steal their credit card? What makes them go to 7-11s, grocery stores and liquor stores with their 4 year old to use a stolen card? And after 48 hours, I still can't justify it.  I will not let this experience harden me, make me bitter, make me give up on these kids, or shape the kind of person I am.  And while I probably never will be able to understand, there is one thing I can do.  What I have to do is forgive.  And begin to carry mace...