inspire me

ok, I am officially a fail at blogging.  I go through stages of always wanting to blog (hence my list of potential blog topics on my post-it widgit) and not even knowing where to begin.  But today, amidst the literal piles of papers all around my desk I am choosing to write about two little guys and their mommas I am blessed to work with.  I dont know if they will ever find this blog, or realize that I am writing about them, but if they do I pray that they realize how much I adore their little boys and have loved the moments that they welcome me into their homes/ lives and allow me to be a part of their families.

Both of these boys have somehow found a permanent place into my heart and they arent even 4 years old yet! I dont know what it is that allows me to have such a relationship with these kids or their families, but I guess there will always be the ones that stick with you and the ones that, for whatever reason dont.  Even when Im not with these kids (I only see one of them once a week and the other I get to see more often, 3x a week at school) I find myself thinking about them, or more like worrying about them.  They both have significant language problems and other co-occurring things going on but are just precious.  I find myself wondering what their futures hold? What kind of people will they be when they grow up? Will they overcome their disabilities? Will they go off to college? Be able to take care of their parents as they age? Will they fall in love? Have lasting and fulfilling friendships/ relationships? and most importantly, will they be happy?

Each of their mom's could be my best friend in another life.  I can see all the joy, hope, and love they have for their sons pour out every time we talk about their progress or lack-there-of.  These mommas are champions for their kids! I have known one of the families for around 6 months and the other for almost a full year, and in that time I have watched (helplessly) as they have cycled through several stages of grief and back again.  I wish I could wave a magic wand and heal all the hurts and troubles their children are having with language but unfortunately I was not given that wand with my diploma... I wish I could make everything better, for I sure am trying, and I know these little pips are too.  These two little pips (pip-squeaks) inspire me more than any other patient I see right now.  They constantly push me to change my way of thinking, aggravate me when I cant find the answers, surprise me when I think I have them figured out, and bring me to tears with all my own worries and fears of what their futures hold.  These mommas remind me how important patience, grace, and love are when I speak with my families.  For possibly more than anyone else I have encountered in my career thus far, these individuals inspire me to become a better clinician.

To all my families, thanks for welcoming me into your homes and lives and for sharing your precious gifts with me.  I dont think I can truly put into words the relationship that is built with these families over months of struggles and days of successes... but I sure am glad that I get to be a part of it all.  Maybe one day my kids will look back and lovingly refer to me as my cousin does to his speech-therapist from when he was little.